Hart of Dixie: Season Two, Episode One.

You know, Hart of Dixie is one of my guilty pleasure shows. Yes, it's kind of ridiculous; yes, Zoe Hart is a very silly doctor; and yes, George Tucker kind of looks like a potato. But dear Lord, the dresses are pretty, Wade is ripped and I find the whole concept of Bluebell sort of charming. In fact, that would probably be how I would describe the show, if ever someone had a gun to my head.

"Hart of Dixie," I'd say, "is kind of charming." 

Let's suspend our disbelief long enough to entertain a scenario wherein someone would hold a gun to my head to find out my opinion on this show, and I think if we're in a world where Zoe Hart is some kind of prodigical surgeon, we can certainly manage to dream up a crazed, TV-obsessed gunman.

Season two cracks on with the inevitable previouslies...

Wade gives Zoe some hard truths about George and Lemon. They're getting married! No matter what occurs! Zoe decides to stay in Bluebell and intuitives that George still has feelings for her. Lavon tells Zoe that George chose Lemon over her, and that isn't likely to change regardless of whether Zoe Shreks her way into the wedding. Lavon puts a hand on George's shoulder as the ex-groom turns into a sodden potato in the rain, after coming to the conclusion he couldn't marry Lemon while part of him was in love with 'someone else'. Uh-huh. We all know who that someone else is. Also - you're in LOVE with her? Dude, she's all over the place, and also not a very good doctor. I'm just saying. Lemon punches George in the face. Wade and Zoe get busy gettin' busy. George potatoes about how he doesn't want to put Zoe out of his mind and gives her a starchy kiss while she's still bathing in sexy-afterglow. Zoe walks back into the bedroom where Wade is stretched out on the bed wearing only a bit of blanket and a rakish grin. Zoe blinks her way into the new season.

Nautical horns, lazy boats painted in various pastel shades idling by, a heron taking flight. A rolling fold-away table reveals Bluebell's town square, where people are still trying to clear away the remains of the wedding-that-never-was. Everyone seems to be helping out. So charming! I can't even get someone to help me move my sofa. Twangy, sassy country music leads Tom and Wanda (hand-in-hand) across the devastated square. Tom is upset. Until today, he tells Wanda, he never really knew what 'torn asunder' meant.

Wanda knows who is to blame, and Tom points his finger at the Lord, but Wanda isn't talking about Big G.

OH, WHO IN THE WORLD COULD SHE BE REFERRING TO?

The camera pinches in on Zoe's pensive face, then pans out to reveal her tapping her fingers nervously, wearing a fairly sturdy-looking bra for a girl with so little up front, and lying next to a naked, sleeping Wade Kinsella.

Zoe, sweetheart. don't look so concerned. Wade is ripped, he's no potato. You're good.

Her phone rings and starts her out of whatever reverie she was in, and OF COURSE, it's George, with the goofiest personalised call-photo-thing I've ever seen. Oh George.

OH SUPER, I'm only a minute into the damn episode and I have to bugger off. It's midnight, the dogs need to pee and I have to sleep in order to get up at 5am ON A SATURDAY. Some strange and wonderful kind of torture, that is. Also known bridesmaiding for a cousin. Ruh-roh.

HOLD THAT THOUGHT - I'LL BE BACK!