Sunday, 2 December 2012

Punch. Innaface.

I'm watching this new TV show, The Wedding Band, while I'm wrapped up in a hundred layers of clothing, shivering and feeling utterly sorry for myself because I've got the 'flu. It's a horrid, ANGRY strain of 'flu too, the vomiting and pooping one as well as all the earache and sore throatishness and snot. Seriously, it's the worst. I slept all day, and I hatehatehate waking up when it's dark outside. Completely throws me, I am now confused and frightened.

I had the weirdest 'flu dream about going to see a Game of Thrones museum that was set in some old, half-ruined castle. When you got to the top floor there was all this memorabilia in one room, then a beardy guy came and ran through a presentation that required audience participation because evil Direwolves came out of the walls and attacked everyone until a piece of paper was thrown in a vase. What? I don't know, it was a dream. Anyway, I decided to stay there and put on a red ballgown that was part of the exhibit. And THEN it was an actual medieval castle and I made out with Sean Bean.

But enough of that. This new TV show centers around a group of middle-aged dudes who have - you guessed it - a band that plays weddings. For the event they're hired to do this week (not a wedding, a re-reunion) they're required to hire a female singer so they can do duets.

Cue wacky audition montage. I mean, that was ridiculous in itself. These scantily clad women traipse up to a microphone and make terrible off-key mewling noises. I guess the show didn't want to pay any more silly song royalties, so none of them actually sing a song. The first woman goes 'La-la-la, waaah,' the second goes like 'Boom-tish-tish' or something, I can't remember and I'm certainly not going to watch it again. It was just baffling. None of these women came to the audition with a song prepared? Even the worst of the auditionees on Idol have a fucking song to sing. They don't just go 'La lalala, ooooOOOoooh-a.' SO FUCKING STUPID.

Then this 'cool' woman rocks in and is all 'Let's do [Some song], start playing on my count, one-two-three..' Like, there's this band they're auditioning for and none of the other women thought to have them play, either. I guess she's supposed to come off as ballsy and a woman with attitude, but she just seems like a dick. I rolled my eyes so hard they almost got stuck up there.

Then there's the fact that she's dressed like this:


Oh God, I can't even look at her. Fingerless leather gloves, woolly slouchie hat, some sort of zebra print bra.. Granted, I may be overreacting because I'm poorly and she exists, but if she walked into my audition I'd punch her in the face before she had a chance to speak, let alone sing. I certainly wouldn't hire her. FINGERLESS LEATHER GLOVES?


Not cool, show. I don't need that kind of shit today.


  1. You are a NUTJOB!!! And I think I love you! :-D I am searching desperately for a place to click that will let me follow your blog, but I can't find one!!! I think I'm gonna cry!

    1. You know, I'm so used to having no comments on any of my waffling, curse-riddled entries that when I logged into my email just now and saw that I had TWO (TWO!) comments I just sort of blinked stupidly at it.


      I once had a comment that said all this was the most interesting, well-thought out blog the commenter had ever seen, and that baffled the shit out of me, because have you seen my blog? Anyway, it turned out to be a BOT selling headphones. Can you believe that? Someone went on the internet and LIED.

      I'm waffling. I've also added a thingy gadget that will allow people to follow my blog! God help you.

      Thanks for the comments!

  2. Oh, honey, I know what you mean! I did the exact same thing yesterday morning. I had two comments, FIRST two comments on my blog...and I got all butterfly-y in my tummy and it took me five minutes to click on them!

    LOL on the "baffled the shit out of me" comment! Your blog is great...since I found it, I intend to come here every day just to find something to bring on my giggles! What is the world without giggles, I ask you?

    I still couldn't find a "follow" button (I'm new to this blog thing, lol), but I did find a place where I could subscribe by you will be coming to my email inbox every time you post...whether you want to or not! HAHAHAHA! (that was my version of an evil laugh...not too evil, but I did my best!)

    Keep blogging, cause I love it!!!! :-D

    1. Hee, thanks, that means a lot. I will keep waffling on and subjecting the internets to it. I think there's a 'Follow by email' thing at the bottom of the page, but I'm pretty sure that's the same as subscribing by email. I'm fairly new to the blogging thing too, so this is the blind leading the blind. But hey, I like the unexpected.

      The world is nothing without giggles. It would be grey and luckless and boring.