Tuesday, 4 December 2012

Sister Wives, Merlin and Motherfucking Insomnia

Reality TV, man.

I have a complicated relationship with Reality TV. On the one hand, I'm mad that it even exists because it's just this giant time sinkhole in which I'm not learning anything or using my brain, or doing anything constructive with the relatively short time I get on this planet. But then on the other hand, there's the fact that I can watch it with completely dead eyes, a slack jaw, and drool gently pooling on my lap, and when I snap back to semi-coherence I haven't missed anything important or lost track of what's happening at all, because nothing actually happens. Essentially, you can watch reality TV in a fugue state and not lose any of the experience.

It's perfect for an insomnia night. It JUST SO HAPPENS I had one such night last night, and filled it with Sister Wives.

I really want to be snarky and mean about these people, but they're kind of spoiling my fun a little by genuinely seeming to care for each other. Is polygamy kind of baffling to me? Yes, but then I won't share my fries. There a moments where I call bullshit on the wives' whole 'everything is sunshine and roses' schtick - sometimes their eyes get a little too wide and you can see a silent scream going on underneath - but for the most part they seem happy with their life choice. Christ, this is weird. I think I'm too tired to snark.

I mean, who here doesn't look happy?


I WILL SAY, that half of what comes out of Cody's mouth makes me cringe and a good percentage of the rest of it makes me want to vom. If he says 'courting' one more time like it's an actual word anyone used after the eighteenth century I'm going to throw something.

There's a hell of a lot of photos of Jesus in their house, too. We all know what he looks like, guys. I used to hang posters of Dieter Brummer and Leonardo DiCaprio in my room when I was twelve, but I grew out of it. It seems unnecessarily creepy to have Jesus in every room. ALWAYS WATCHING. Jesus doesn't want to watch you get to business with your four wives. Nothing against, Baby Jee, he was a stand up guy.

I've gone on a mad religious iconography tangent.

Last night I also watched possibly the best episode of Merlin I've ever seen, which involved the young sorcerer turning into a woman for ten hilarious minutes. There were plenty of HOYAY moments to keep me entertained as well.

I am way too tired to make any sense today. I'll just publish this and go swan dive into bed. 9:22am seems like a good time to sleep.

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