Fuck this virus, seriously. I'm so disorientated today, I'm trying to write a Happy Endings recap and I keep forgetting-- IT HAPPENED AGAIN. Completely lost my train of thought mid-sentence. Hateful, hateful virus. I have fever confusion, which is a malady I just made up but you know what I mean.
I just accidentally punched one of the cats in the face when she tried to jump on my lap while I was sitting on the loo. I can't tolerate noise of any kind, I nearly knifed the binmen to death in the face, with my face. FACE. Oh, hysterical laughter. Great, I've actually cracked.
AND I HAVEN'T EVEN PUT THE CHRISTMAS TREE UP YET. This virus is RUINING December.
Trying to cheer myself up by wearing a crown but I just noticed two of the fake rubies have fallen out, which frankly has upset me much more than it has any rights to. I like how I felt the need to say they are fake rubies, just in case anyone is under the impression I have the actual crown jewels lying around. Good one, Jen. Fake rubies. Frubies.
Great, I've watched so much Sister Wives while poorly that Cody's verbal retardation has spread to me.
Also, I had a fever dream last night about beating Christina Aguilera at a dance competition, then arranging a fashion show by being number two in a big company, then being on an airplane that was as big as an airPORT and had its own Blockbuster.
I know, crazy right? Blockbuster doesn't even exist anymore.
NOTHING IN THIS ENTRY HAS ANY WORTH, DON'T READ IT.
Send help. And re-hydration sachets.