They're too cute, I can't stand it.

More KITTIES! And STUFF!

The kittens are now nine days old and have opened their eyes. Except when they're sleeping. Here are some photos. You may 'squee' now:

THINGS I FOUND ON THE INTERNET TODAY

This bathroom. I have need of it. Look at the walls and the mirror and that REALLY enthusiastic shower. Yes, I think I need this in my life. Sure, it looks vaguely like something an evil queen would have in her boudoir, but I think a little bit of mystery in the bathroom is a good thing. In fact, I think a lot of mystery in the bathroom in a good idea, especially when taking into account the bodily excretions of other people.

This made me laugh until I cried. I have no idea why. I mean, it's quite sad. King Kong is clearly just trying to improve the diet of the other monster, but the other dude is all: "No, fuck you, I want a Double Down."

Yep. That seems about right.

Step One: Acquire child,

Step Two: Buy this carpet for her,

Step Three: Return child, avoid jail, keep carpet for myself.

It is now THE WITCHING HOUR, so I have to get to bed before the trolls and 'tween things get me. Had a hilarious conversation with amberance, so if you read my blog and not hers, then go read hers. She's funnier than I am.

TA-TA and GOOD NIGHT! <3

Kittens!

So, the most significant thing that happened this month is that River finally had her kittens. You guys, did you know kittens are teeny? Did you know they squeak?! They are the most darling things I have ever set eyes on, and I want to keep them all and become a crazy cat lady. The Spy isn't having any of it though, and 4/5 have homes to go to once they're nine weeks old. I am going to cry and cry and be sad forever.

But enough with the depressing stuff! Kittens!!!!!

That's River having a rest after delivering three of the five kittens. Khaleesi is her sister, just hanging out giving kitty support. It was the most adorable thing ;_;

I have nicknamed this one Fatty, because he's the biggest of the litter. Nicknamed in my head, blates. Apparently people like to name their own cats, whatevs.

Aunty Khaleesi stepping up to help feed the kittens. Albeit rather uselessly.

Sorry about the quality of this one, I swear I didn't take it with a potato. LOOK AT HIS WITTLE FACE!

RAWRR I'M A TIGER!

Oh, all right. I'm a kitten. WHATCANISMELL?

:p

So yeah, kittens happened.

Going through their birth with River was damaging. For me. Cats come out in embryonic sacs, so from where I was looking all I could see was River birthing a gloopy, inky black, shiny shadow that might or might not have been destined to go kill a gay pretender to the throne. But no, she ripped that sucker open and out came a kitty. Then Khaleesi ate the first placenta for her, while I dry-heaved. That wasn't pretty, y'all..

Don't worry, though! River got her fair share of veiny, thick placenta as well, since there's one per kitten.

They're a week old now, and I've just moved the nest from the spare room to our room where I can keep a better eye on them as they grow up a bit. There will be more kitty pictures as and when they decide to pose prettily for me.

THINGS I SAW ON THE INTERNET THIS WEEK

Look at this. Just look at it:

Everything in moderation... Hurr hurr hurr

Doesn't that make you hungry?

My God, I would eat all of those delicious little bastards.

I want to be your friend, Zooey Deschanel.

WORD, ZD. Getting up and waking up is hard. We should really just all zombie-walk around and bump affectionately into each other until we feel capable of more complex interations.

And finally, before I climb back into bed for an hour (What? It's 8am on a Saturday, don't judge me) I will leave you with a NICE THOUGHT, because I am NICE like THAT:

peace, my lovelies x