Saturday, 16 November 2013

Photographic Confusion

So I have a photo on my wall.

Many, in fact.

I printed off a bunch of motivational quotes and whatnot to stick above my treadmill at eye level, so that when I feel like I can't go on and might well die, the quotes will guilt me into going on.

One of them, though.. I don't know what it is about it, but I can't read it the way it's supposed to be read. Perhaps it's beacause I workout in the morning, or perhaps the peculiar mismatch of colours confuses and frightens me, but I started to write down over the last couple of months the weird things I read in place of what's actually there.

What'll follow here is the ACTUAL photo, and then the list of things I've mistaken it for reading:

Actual photo.

Things I have mistakenly read it as saying:

"Stop wrestling, you idiot."

"Stop doing what she's doing."

"Stop washing - silly doings!"

"Stop doing the washing up!"

"Swishing tart."

"Cat, wish, art, oink." (Incidentally, that's the name of my gallery show in the trendiest part of London. Send me £50 and I'll send you an invite.)

"Stop, wish, deny."

"Stop washing your dong."

"Wish-washing the step."

So yeah, that's it's for now. I'll write an update in a while if anything else vaguely humourous comes from me mis-reading this or any other sign. There's a roadworks sign near where I live that says "HEAVY PLANT CROSSING" which always makes me giggle.

Love you, awesome nerds.


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